Today I want to give you six keys that will help you to break free from the bondage of sexual sin.
1. Make a decision
How do you get set free from sexual sin? First of all, as with any form of bondage, you need to make a decision that you want to be free. If you are in sexual bondage then you have to look honestly at what you have become and the damage that your sin is causing. How much of your life are you wasting by fighting sexual “fevers”? Do you long to be free from the sense of guilt and failure that your sexual sin produces in you?
The standard of God’s Word, and what He wants for you, is for there to be “not even a hint” of sexual immorality in your life. So there is a decision to make and the stronger the decision you make, the easier it will be to get free. Instead of continually fighting off sinful sexual urges which sap your spiritual strength and divert you from your purpose, make a decision to be free and take the steps that follow.
2. Receive prayer and deliverance
Next you need to receive prayer and deliverance. I am not referring to deliverance from demonic forces necessarily, although demons often do attach themselves to habitual sexual sin and there can be a supernatural bondage there. But it is important that you receive prayer, and deliverance if necessary, and allow God to break the bondage in your life and bring healing and restoration to you.
3. Discipline yourself – learn new habits
Habits of the flesh need to be broken and the only way to do that is to discipline yourself to learn new habits. Especially for men, begin with “bouncing” your eyes away from any sexual image. It really can make a big difference. Normal God-given sexual desire is manageable, because we realise that there is a fire burning on the inside of every man! Whether he’s a believer or an unbeliever, there is a fire there, we are no different! The thing to do is to keep the fire low. Don’t deliberately pour fuel on the fire. If you walk into your office and you see a girl wearing a low-cut blouse, bounce your eyes immediately, because if you don’t, you’ll put fuel on your fire and by lunchtime you’ll by totally distracted! However, you can control normal sexual desires that God has given you if you don’t let them grow out of control. Don’t make life tough for yourself. And ladies: watch your thought patterns. Bring then into line and don’t let your emotions carry you away.
4. Engage in discipleship
Discipleship is a very important part in the process of getting free and staying free from sexual sin. Put another way, get yourself into mutually accountable relationships with other believers. Everyone needs others around them, regardless of their position or status, because no one is immune – that they can relate to honestly and pray with. Cell groups or prayer partners can be very beneficial in this regard because in them we can help each other, not as policemen but as fellow soldiers, to overcome our difficulties. If we are serious about the business of sexual purity then we also need to help one another.
5. Learn to walk in dignity
Sexual freedom is not about doing your own thing sexually – just whatever you feel like doing – it is about bringing your sexuality to order, to be harnessed for God’s purposes. That is true sexual freedom, and when you walk in freedom it brings dignity. When your desires are under control, that makes a true man.
Being a man or woman of God is about taking the dignity that God bestows on His children and walking in that freedom. Learn to respect your dignity and that of others. Men, learn to respect women – respect them physically, emotionally and intellectually. Women, respect men – understand the differences, but don’t exploit them.
6. Learn to walk in intimacy
Finally, learn to walk in intimacy. One of the biggest effects of sexual sin is that it robs us of dignity and intimacy. I’ve discovered in counselling men in particular who have sexual problems that every one of them speaks of a loss of intimacy. In other words, they have been seeking intimacy in the wrong way. Rather, focus on developing your intimacy with God so that when the time is right and it is time to “awaken love” (see Song of Solomon 2:7) you will be glad that you disciplined and prepared yourself to be a real blessing and a gift to your partner in marriage.
Read also : What is Sexual Sin and Why is it Wrong?